WHAT?! Khouzhan, you must be c-r-a-z-y!
I was looking out my back door today at a stray little kitten that has wandered into my life. He is tiny, and beige, so I decided to name him 'Peanut.' Little Peanut doesn't really let me pet him...well he actually doesn't let me pet him at all. But as he scampered away when I opened the door, I kneeled down to pet the giant ball of fur affectionately known as 'Dirtbag' (side note: dirtbag earned his name because he finds it completely unnecessary to clean himself, so he is always full of burdocks, sticks, and the like. When he went to the vet to be fixed, they had to shave chunks of matted fur because he seems to looooove burdocks). He is rubbing on me, purring, and drooling because he is so excited I am petting him. Dirtbag also came with his brother as a stray when they were tiny kittens. And he wouldn't let me pet him for months. But slowly, and with a lot of patience, I was able to get him to trust me; to trust that I wouldn't hurt him. I realized how much this is like working an your HD. At first, they are scared, and at the smallest hint of affection you try to show them, they run away. But, although they seem to be far away, they are still there watching you. Eventually, they don't really run away when you open the door. THEN, there is that wonderful and heartwarming moment when they finally give in, and let you pet them.
As I watched little Peanut sitting in the driveway, I thought to myself, that with a lot of patience, he too, like all the other stray cats that have come to my house, will trust that I won't hurt him and he will be able to enjoy all the love and snuggles that I can give him.
So, when you are starting to feel restless and unsure, remember...your HD is like a stray cat. Sometimes it only takes a couple of months, but with those cat that have been hurt and unsure, it can take much longer than you'd like. But in the end, they always give in and love you!
MEOW
Khouzhan Delilah
spellmaker.com
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