I wanted to talk a little bit more about my question about our sense of "deserving" something. Even though you can see these comments in the comments section under each blog post, I wanted to reprint these comments from readers here in this post so that I could comment on them.
One reader says:
"I had to think about this post for about a day before answering. . . . first I think we can trace that "entitlement" thing back to being children and being told if we were "good" santa would bring goodies (and if not, a lump 'o coal)! Who didn't have an impression like that made on them when they were small? Some of us never got over it!!! i try to turn it around and say i have been given MORE than I deserve. Several years ago I had a serious illness and could have died; in fact since then have seen many people with the same illness die from it. Ever since that happened I look at anything good that happens as "bonus points". I still get mad and sad and so on when I don't get what I want/get my own way; but try to remind myself it could be a LOT worse. Even in this terrible economy, most of us have more than most of the world's people will ever hope to have. This does not mean I do not throw my temper tantrums and sulk like anybody else but I also try to keep the big picture in mind. . . and intentionally make it bigger and bigger all the time. A hard question! Still not sure of the answer. . ."
This reader brings up a very good point and it bodes another question: Are we programmed to think in terms of what we deserve? Certainly Santa would be a good example of that! Even just the idea of being children and being punished for bad behavior and rewarded for good behavior reinforces the idea of when we do something "good" in life we deserve some kind of reward for it. It is like somewhere along the line many of us did not get the lesson that sometimes the doing good is the reward in and of itself. We believe we are entitled to more. Like the reader says, it is a hard question and I don't think there is an easy answer, either!
Like I was mentioning in my original post my main concern here is what I perceive as a huge sense of entitlement in some of my clients and my worry is that this will somehow be detrimental to their spell work - that they will not put forth the necessary effort, time, or heart, because they have the idea that they just simply deserve a good result!
Another reader says:
"Hi Mambo, What a great question I think that this is. I would think that being a good mother should be a reward in itself. And being a good wife should be a reward unto itself. I think the problem comes in when people are picking the wrong people to concentrate their efforts on. If you are trying to be a good wife to your husband and he doesn't give a hoot about you, then you should have realized that before you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. Everyone deserves to be happy, but if you just sit around and wait for happiness to find you, I think you will be very disappointed. You have to go make your own happiness and then yes, you deserve it because you worked for it. The same thing goes with our spellwork. If you think you deserve your HD or whatever you are working towards, then you have to really work for it. That means no conflict and staying positive. Then yes you deserve the results you work so hard for. Ok, that is how I see it anyway!!"
This reader makes a good point, also, in that no matter what you deserve, you still need to be proactive in your own happiness no matter how "good" you have been. Plus, she mentions that "everyone deserves to be happy." Certainly I agree that we all start out that way! ;-) I think we have all known a few rat bastards that probably did not deserve to be happy, but we will leave them out of the equation for this discussion and assume we are just talking about the at least marginally decent human beings. LOL.
I would love to hear from more of you on this subject. You know, your comments can be anonymous, you don't have to say who you are, and a Mambo never tells! :-)
Love, light, and peace,
Mambo Samantha Corfield
