Sister Bridget's Blog

A new look at Ancestor Service.

As Vodouisants, calling on, feeding, and honoring our ancestors is something we are very familiar with. Our Ancestors are a part of us; they are with us and around us always. Ancestors can be called on as a group, or individually. It is fairly traditional to hold an Ancestor service one a year, but they can be held anytime at all. Just yesterday I was at one of my favorite spots in a local cemetery, and came across this site***

 

The family and friends of this departed little boy had held his tenth birthday party for him. At first, a wave of sadness passed through me. But after a moment, I realized the people at this party were far from sad. I could see them decorating with streamers, laughing and joking, sharing stories about their little one, but also telling stories to him. I am certain there was a cake with candles, balloons, presents (which were left here with him) and punch. He was very much a participant in his own celebration. 

Even though this young person passed before many of those in his family, he is still of their blood, and thus, now an Ancestor. The openness and joy in this birthday party was, for me, very moving.  It has given me much to consider (or reconsider) about the “routine” my own service has fallen into. I plan on shaking things up a bit next time around! 

Love

Sister Bridget

 

(***Names and dates have been photoshopped out)

 

Words of Wisdom from Mambo !

Hi there-

As I was hunting through some old files just now, looking for something completely different, I ran across this post by Mambo Sam from back on the old Yahoo! forum! (Remember when..... hee hee) Anyhow, it seemed relevent to a few folks I have spoken to this week, so I decided to dust it off and repost it :-)

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend and enjoy some warm summer sun!

Love

Sister Bridget

 

Begin post:

JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS, SELF SABOTAGE, AND MORE

Hello everyone,

I wanted to post a few words here (which I have done before) about

certain people immediately jumping to conclusions about their heart's

desire, self-sabotaging their own work, and not giving spell work its

due time.

Sorry, (Yahoo! forum name redacted!)  you get to be my guinea pig for this post, but

believe me you are in excellent company! :-)

So you saw your HD's car at her current boyfriend's house, or his at

her's or whatever: So the immediate conclusion is that the spells

aren't working (which are barely finished, by the way), they MUST be

getting closer, I'm going to tell her off/cut her off from the one

real contact I have with her (really bad idea), etc., etc. Folks,

this is so common of a reaction that it isn't even funny anymore.

I have posted many times about how spell work ebbs and flows, how the

target of the spell work has to come to some conclusions on their

own, how sometimes the couple you are trying to break up seems to get

closer - because that is what needs to happen for them to see just

how bad they are for each other.

When you choose the path of spell work, you are choosing to do

something proactive in your case. Additionally, you now carry the

burden of knowledge and patience. YOU know about they spell work,

THEY don't (hopefully, right?). With this knowledge comes

responsibility of allowing the process to happen in the way that is

best for all involved. This is a SPIRITUAL path, most of the rules

of the PHYSICAL world no longer apply. Yes, I said "most" - because

obviously some still do apply - we still live in the physical world,

after all.

However, too many of you are just very willing to shoot yourself in

the foot! If you are lucky enough to have any kind of cordial

contact with your heart's desire, why would you want to cut that off?

Because it is too "painful" for you? Well, obviously it was too

painful to be without them, thus you have embarked on a spiritual

path to your goal. This brings the responsibility of being the

bigger person. Spell work is not without responsibility to the spell

caster. This means that you have chosen to do both the spiritual

work and the physical work to try to obtain your goal.

Is there the possibility of failure? Yes, of course. But this is

true with any worthwhile endeavor - there is always the possibility

of failure. But failure after having tried your best is no shame;

with anything, if you have to walk away from it and you tried all you

knew to do, then you have not really failed at all. You made the

supreme effort.

Therefore, if you were willing to make the supreme effort, please be

willing to see it through. There is so much hyseteria over little

things lately that I wonder what some of you are thinking. I have

posted over and over again that there are ups and downs, there are

times when things seem to regress, this is a natural part of the

progress. Of course, it is normal to be disheartened or to feel

bad, but some of you seem to allow that to permeate your very soul.

Negativity is a very strong energy and as human beings, for whatever

reason, we seem to gravitate to it more readily than we do to

positive energy.

It's like I have told a couple of you during consultations, humans

will embrace the least little negative thing: Let's say you have a

new outfit and go to a party wearing it. 19 people tell you that you

look great in it; the 20th person you talk to says you look terrible

in the outfit. You will never wear it again. The 19 peoples' good

opinions are out the window; the 20th person's bad opinion sticks in

your head. So, negative energy is easy to embrace and we all do it;

it is a fight to embrace and stay positive. But, it is something you

should all strive to do. Quit being so ready to sabotage yourself at

every turn. Please.

Love,

Mambo Sam


END POST!

Healthy Relationships begin with Ourselves!

Hello there!

I was just reading this article, and the LAST line really grabbed me - it says

“It’s crucial to have a great relationship with ourselves because it’s the only relationship that you are guaranteed to have every day of your life!”

Seems so simple, right? Yet, it came as a bit of a "Duh!" moment for me. I am posting a link here to the rest of the article. I hope some other folks out there find it helpful as well.

6 Ways You Can Have a Healthy Relationship with Yourself

Love

Sister Bridget

 

Relationship advice from the Harvard Business School!

Well, sort of! I found  this short article published by the Harvard Business School which talks about how to avoid those pesky knee-jerk reactions we can have in tough situations or during tough conversations. And while we try really hard not to get into these tough conversations in the immediate post-casting period, sometimes, well, stuff happens! And sure, we are not in a "business" relationship with our HDs, we are still in a relationship and this advice seems very applicable. The actual HBR tips are at the bottom of this post. These 3 here have been modified for our particular situations:

1 - Know yourself! Take some time and look back at how you have reacted in the past in difficult situations and how other people reacted. This can be the hardest thing of all to do! But we can not change what we are not aware of (Sorry for the Dr. Phil reference!) so even though it can be tough, spend some time in reflection on this topic.

2- Have a plan! It is infinitely easier to come up with a plan when you are NOT in the heat of the moment. If things have been tense with your HD and there is a chance things might go sideways, thing ahead and have plan incase they do. If you are having trouble coming up with a plan, ask your caseworker.

3- Its OK to say No! (Sometimes...) so this one I have  to put a caveat. Certainly, if you are feeling super emotional or sad or angry then for sure, it may not be the best time to see HD that day. Why set yourself (and your spellwork) up for failure? If you are just maybe in a snit because HD did not return your text fast enough, then sorry - Suck it up, Buttercup! Take the high road, be nice, polite and responsive :-) This one is a little tricky, and again, if you have any questions or need any guidance, by all means ask your caseworker. Oh - and avoid sarcasm. Trust me! When tensions are high, it is *always* misinterpreted!

Strive for this -                   

not this -

Love

Sister Bridget

 

Override Your Default Reactions in a Tough Conversation (From Harvard Business Review 7/3/14)

 

In a difficult conversation, our default reactions can lead to unproductive outcomes. You’ll perform better in those tough moments if you’re conscious of how you want to react. Here’s how:

• Know your defaults. Make a list of daily interpersonal situations, like meetings, conversations, negotiations, and conflicts. Then identify your default behaviors — interrupting, becoming aggressive, micromanaging, or jumping to conclusions.
• Plan your overrides. Before these challenging moments arise, envision how you’d ideally like to respond. For instance, if you want to overcome your tendency to interrupt, rehearse being a more active, engaged listener.
• Design your days. Self-control varies across a day and a workweek. Why schedule high-conflict conversations before lunch or at the end of the day? If your morning becomes unexpectedly difficult, reshuffle your afternoon to avoid letting a snide comment or criticism slip.

Hand of an Angel.

 

Hello there!

Just a few days ago, I came across this statue of Saint Michael while browsing in a second hand store with Mambo Sam. There were several different statues. One was of Santo Nino de Atocha that I still may have to go back for! But, that day I left with Michael. I cleansed it a bit, and he has been sitting next to my computer when I am working for the past couple days. This morning, Mambo Sam tells me to get ready, that we are going to the cemetery to do some special work for a client. Just so happens that we were to be working with Archangel Michael! (No coincidences, right???) So, off we go to the cemetery, and about a third into the work, I feel this incredible pressure on the top of my head. Now, I often get funny feelings *in* my head when doing different things with the Lwa. I call it a "swimmy" kind of feeling - I bet a few of you out there know exactly what I am talking about :-) But today, this was quite different. This was outside, right on the top of my head, and it was heavy. As Mambo was wrapping up her working, I asked her if her how her head was feeling. I described what I was experiencing, and Mambo replied "That is the hand of Michael. You have the hand of an Angel on you" just like that - and continued wrapping up her work.  When we were finished, we sat for a few minutes before leaving. I can still feel a bit of an "echo" of that feeling even now, and when I think his name in my mind, the feeling intensifies again. There is so much about this world, and the next, that I have to hearn. I am so grateful that I have Mambo Sam and Parran Matt  to guide me though this time. I am not sure what is coming next, or what today's events ultimatley mean for me, but I will keep you posted!

Love

Sister Bridget