Bridget's Blog

Why We Choose Anger (And How To Take Another Road)

This article sooooooo reminded me of one of the reasons why we tell clients that taking the High Road is very important.  Chosing not to react in anger sometimes can be a really hard thing to do. I hope this article helps make that a little easier for some of you :-)
Light and Love

Sister Bridget

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why We Choose Anger (And How To Take Another Road) by Brenda Shoshanna

Anger has turned into an epidemic in our world today. It is crucial to take a step back and realize the enormity of the danger we are facing, not only from external expressions of anger, but from the anger we each carry within. The time has come to face the truth about anger, learn what it truly is, where it comes from, why it arises, and how to stop it on the spot.

Anger Is A Choice We Make

Believe it or not, anger is a choice we make. But what are some of the reasons that we would hold onto this poison, and refuse to let it go? For starters, many become addicted to anger. Anger gives a false sense of power and strength. This is a lie it tells. When a person is addicted to anger, they are really becoming addicted to the temporary sense of power, and strength they receive.

When very angry, a person often feels that they are definitely right and everyone else is wrong. A false sense of decisiveness is created. It becomes easier to take action (though the action is almost always off base). However, the rush an individual gets from anger is counterfeit, a substitute for real strength. After the anger passes, and the consequences of the anger set in, the person usually feels weak and depleted. Often there is considerable regret for words spoken or action taken rashly.

When we realize the truth of the situation, it is easier to let go of anger and proceed constructively. For example, we grow to understand that real strength comes from the power to see the entire situation for what it really is and respond with clarity and compassion.

Who Would I Be Without My Anger

Anger not only tells us lies – it often becomes a person’s identity. “Who would I be without my anger?” people say. When one is addicted to anger, it becomes the person’s identity. They feel that without their anger they would become a doormat and out of control. Anyone could do what they wanted to them. Actually, the opposite is true. Without anger we can live from the highest and best of who we are.

The Fuels For Anger

Even when we want to let go of anger, there may be many fuels that keep it going. It is important to become aware of what these fuels are, so we can put them out. A basic fuel of anger is the feeling that we must fight for what we need and want and that we must also fight not to allow others to win or deceive us. This is built upon the basic idea that others are our opponents, (or enemies), that what they want and need conflicts with our needs. We believe that both cannot be winners, one must lose and the other gain, we must struggle for what is our due, there is not enough to go around for all. We divide the world into two camps, those who are with us and those who are not. This idea is a great fuel for anger, because we feel it is fine to attack those who are are not on our side.

We do not stop to realize that those who seem to be our enemies one day, may become our dearest friends the next. Friends turn to enemies and the other way around all the time. When we are ready to let this lie go, it becomes easy to see that the good of one is always the good of all. Our basic well being lies in the ability to give and receive love and support, to share our lives, struggles and joy with others. The more we do this, the more fulfilling and healthy our lives become.

Learn to give up one form of anger a day, and replace it with a healthy substitute in award winning book The Anger Diet, (30 Days To Stress Free Living) http://www.theangerdiet.com .  Acclaimed psychologist, speaker, family and divorce mediator has helped thousands resolve conflicts fairly and constructively.

38 Stress Busters

38 Stress Busters

So, the silly holiday season is upon us now. Let's all make an effort to pre-empt holiday craziness and burn out by taking steps to help de-stress. I have highlighted a few of my personal favorites below:

1. Start off your day with breakfast.

2. Occasionally change your routine by meeting, a friend or co-worker for breakfast - allow time to relax and enjoy it.

3. Find some time during the day to meditate or listen to a relaxation CD.

4. Instead of drinking coffee all day, switch to fruit juice or decaf tea.

5. Organize your work - set priorities.

6. Don't try to be perfect. Don't feel like you must do everything.

7. Avoid trying to do two or three or more things at a time.

8. Develop a support network.

9. If possible, reduce the noise level in your environment.

10. Always take a lunch break (preferably not at your desk).

11. Optimize your health with good nutrition, sleep and rest.

12. Get regular exercise.

13. Celebrate birthdays and other holidays. Turn more events into special occasions.

14. Look at unavoidable stress as an avenue for growth and change.

15. Avoid people who are "stress carriers."

16. Avoid people who are "negaholics."

17. Don't watch the 11 p.m. news.

18. Give yourself praise and positive strokes.

19. Develop a variety of resources for gratification in your life, whether it's family, friends, hobbies, interests, special weekends or vacations.

20. Treat yourself to "new and good things."

21. Be assertive. Learn to express your needs and differences, to make requests, and to say "no" constructively.

22. Seek out the emotional resources available to you- co-workers, spouse, friends and family.

23. Don't be afraid to ask questions or to ask for help.

24. Allow extra time to get to appointments.

25. Take deep breaths when you feel stressed.

26. Try to find something funny in a difficult situation.

27. Find ways to protect yourself...take an occasional "mental health day."

28. Adopt a pet.

29. Take a mindful walk.

30. Understand that we do not all see or do things in the same way.

31. Practice mindfulness - learn to live in the moment.

32. Become a less aggressive driver.

33. Show kindness and consideration: Open a door for someone, pick up litter, etc.

34. When stressed, ask yourself "Is this really important?" and "Will this really matter a year from now?"

35. Resist the urge to judge or criticize.

36. Become a better listener.

37. Be flexible with change - things don't always go as we planned.

38. If religious, pray; speak to God, a higher power, or your inner guide. (and the Lwa... they love to hear from you!!)

A Prayer For Peace

A Prayer For Peace

Cheyenne Prayer for Peace

            Let us know peace.
            For as long as the moon shall rise,
            For as long as the rivers shall flow,
            For as long as the sun shall shine,
            For as long as the grass shall grow,
            Let us know peace.

Have a peaceful holiday weekend,
Sister Bridget

Practicing Gratitude

Hey there -

Happy Thanksgiving. I had told myself that I was going to have a computer - free day today, but something happened that I just have to tell you about.

I was having my own, quiet Thanksgiving day. I put some sweet potatoes in the oven, watched a bit of the Macy's parade on TV, then made a call to my father to wish him a happy day. The best way to describe my dad is, well, he's a bit of a curmudgeon. He can be surly, and he can be grumpy, and he often has difficulty seeing the Light in things. Don't get me wrong, he's a great dad and loves his kids and would do anything for them, but -- he's a grump. So, it came to no surprise to me today when I called to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving, that he reluctantly, grumpily said "Thanks".

I didn't think much of it at the time, it really was to be expected, and the rest of the conversation went on its usual course. I don't have many holiday traditions, but one that I really stick to is watching Miracle on 34th Street on Thanksgiving. Every year I get my best fuzzy blanket, make the biggest cup of tea I possibly can, and hunker down on the couch to watch it. Not long after getting comfortable today, with the remote in my hand, I got to thinking about my father and his reluctant acceptance of my good wishes for him. Even on today, the day that is all about giving thanks, he had difficulty saying the word. And as I reflected further back on his life, I realized he did have alot in his life to be thankful for, but he just didn't make it a habit of acknowledging it. I don't think he has even ever tried express deep gratitude. This realization made me quite sad, but also promptly lead me to another revelation.....

That gratitude has to be practiced! Those of you who are on Mambo Sam's forum know that the question of faith often comes up, how do we have faith, how to we keep faith when the times are tough (that answer is that tough times is when faith sees you thru..... if you lose faith when the going gets tough, then you never really had any faith in the first place -- but I'm digressing) I think, in order to truly have a deep and abiding sense of gratitude, that we need to practice saying "Thank you" everyday, not just on Hallmark days like today.

Practice saying "Thank you"??? I bet you are all thinking there's too much rum in my mug ... or not enough. But think about it...how are good habits established? how do things become second nature to people? how do things become a part of us? Practice, Practice, Practice.

If these seems overwhelming, then start small. Be grateful for your car starting in the morning. Be grateful for your mail carrier. Be grateful for your electric blanket. Be grateful for healthy toe nails.

If this is difficult for you, then be grateful for things that are *not*. For example, be grateful that you don't have  a broken arm . Be grateful that your shoe laces didn't break this morning. Be grateful that your cell phone battery isn't dead. As you practice being grateful for what is not, it will soon be easier to be grateful for what is.  For example: I am so very grateful that I do not have toe nail fungus becomes I am so very grateful for healthy toe nails.

So, my challenge to you all is to think of one thing tonight that you are truly grateful for on some level. How big or small that is, it doesn't matter. Thats not the point. As you lie there, just before you go to sleep, think of that thing you are grateful for. Clear everything else out of your heart and your mind except for that one thing you are grateful for. Be still and then examine the feeling that comes along with that thought. Be as still as you can for as long as you can, and let that feeling fill you up. Some of you might only be able to hold this for a minute. Some of you might be able to do this until you drift off to sleep. How long you can hold the feeling isn't the point -- its the practice of finding and holding the feeling that is important. Hold the feeling peacefully for as long as you can. Each night, you will  be able to stay in that grateful space a bit longer. And as each day passes, you will find it easier to feel that feeling and become aware of more and more things that you are truly grateful for. You will find those 2 little words just rolling off your tongue with no problem at all. With practice and time, I know that you will begin to see  things around you shift, improve, become easier and lighter.

Give it a try. You have nothing to lose but a minute or two each day by trying, and a whole lot to gain.

Please let me know what results you get! Post your comments/results below on this blog. I really would like to see how this is working for you.

Let me just say again how truly thankful I am for my Spellmaker family and to have all of you in my life.

Light and Love

Sister Bridget

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

Wishing all of you a peaceful and happy Thanksgiving day.

                        Thanksgiving

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food,
For love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.

                    - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

New Tarot Spread ......

Hey all!

I have been working with a new tarot spread for a little while now and I am ready to start offering it as an option along with the relationship readings and celtic cross that I am currently offering.
For several months now, I have been trying to find a way to help clients focus on the future more positively, to look at the bigger picture of their lives and I believe this spread will help me do that.
If anyone is interested in trying out the Positive Outlook Spread, please let me know. My cards are rarin' to go!

Light and Love
Sister Bridget

How to Enjoy the True Spirit of Thanksgiving

Hey there!

It's that time of year again...where we all need to keep up with our regular, already hectic schedule, and everything that comes with the Holidays as well. Do you find yourself stressed planning your thanksgiving feast? Would you like to find out how you can enjoy a more relaxed, fun time and feel the true spirit of this yearly event? Then read this article below for some suggestions of how you can create a day of thanksgiving instead of stress and exhaustion.

Light and Love

Sister Bridget

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I personally would rather be filled with joy and gratitude instead of just stuffed with food on this joyous occasion. After all, the essence of the holiday is to acknowledge and celebrate all the positive things in your life. It is a time that reminds us to be grateful and appreciate everything and everyone, including ourselves. Is that the experience you have had or are planning?

To the contrary, I was a guest at a family Thanksgiving that I felt was missing the true spirit of the holiday. Four stressed women were rushing around the kitchen preparing the many traditional courses. They were getting ready to serve enough for 20 people when only 10 were present. Can you relate to that?

After at least two days of preparation, we all finally sat down by the decorative table filled with the colorful foods. Immediately the adults and children started to stuff their plates and themselves of all that would fit on them. It seemed like a movie on fast forward. In no time, the meal was over and the cleaning process began. Some guests went straight to the television.

When everyone was ready, a violent rented movie was the entertainment for the night. I quickly retreated to the bedroom to avoid the scary music and abusive actions.

Needless to say, I left feeling a strange sensation of being physically full, but emotionally and spiritually empty. I decided at that point that I would only create or attend holistic thanksgivings.

The next year I invited people who I knew were alone and did not have a place to go on this joyous holiday. I asked the guests to bring a traditional dish so that no one, especially me, would have to slave in the kitchen for days.

Before we consumed the delicious looking food, I suggested that everyone share what they were thankful for. People expressed gratitude for their health, relationships, children, homes, abundance, and jobs. Others were grateful for their opportunities to make a difference in this world.

Of course, we blessed the food and all the people who made it possible for us to have the provisions available on the table. Finally, we began to slowly enjoy the color, taste, and texture of the different food offerings.

After dinning, we gathered in the living room to share more of our blessings and play some fun, group games. Charades is always a great choice. Hours later, we all left filled with food, and also satisfied emotionally and spiritually because we experienced the essence of Thanksgiving.

On other occasions, I invited friends over for a Day After Thanksgiving Potluck. I asked people to just bring their leftovers, and I made sure that I had a plain cake and lots of candles ready.

We all gathered in the living room where I had placed glowing candles on the coffee table next to the cake. To create a reverent mood, I turned off the ceiling lights. Then I offered everyone the opportunity to come up to the table one at a time in silence, light a candle, place it on the cake, and then share with the group what they were thankful for. The rest of us remained quiet and just listened. There was no discussion, just heartfelt sharing.

To demonstrate the gratitude ritual, I lit a candle, put it on the cake, and told them how thankful I was that everyone was here tonight to share their food, love, joy, and gratitude. I also included some personal appreciations. When the next person was ready, they quietly came up and did the same.

The room was filled with reverence, peace, love, and joy. After everyone had the opportunity to participate, we did a lot of hugging, and went into the kitchen to also enjoy the physical nurturing.

The guests took part in the cleaning up and when they all left, I felt so fulfilled. The gratitude gauge was very high. I felt satisfied that I had created exactly what I wanted, a holistic, satisfying Thanksgiving. I was fed spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. That is a delicious feeling you have to experience to know. Happy Thanksgiving!

Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, Marriage, Family Therapist.

The Importance of Intention

Hey There!

This article is about intention and how very important it is in *everything* in our lives (Spellwork is included in there, tho this article doesnt address that directly). Its a short article, but really clear and I wanted to pass it along to you all. Enjoy!

Light and Love

Sister Bridget

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Universal Laws of Attraction by Jan Engels Smith

Change occurs when energy shifts. To understand change, one needs to understand the dynamics of energy. Everything emanates energy---animate beings, physical objects, even thoughts and feelings---and these energy "fields" impact and alter all they touch.

If we are to have control over the changes in our lives, we must also understand the importance of thoughts, beliefs, ideas, and feelings as energy. Only when we understand and can apply the following basic laws of the universe will we be able to consciously affect the change process:

1. Energy follows intention.

2. Whatever you add energy to multiplies.

3. Thought followed by word and action equals form.

4. What you believe becomes.

These laws apply to all of life and are fundamental in understanding how to work with energy in order to create. Healing, both of self and others, is possible by developing skills in working with these laws. Enlightenment requires this understanding.

People with spiritual power have learned how to work with energy by following the guidelines of these laws. They can direct energy with intention and trust that the desired outcome will materialize. They are not victims of other people or situations because they know how energy works and they apply this knowledge to their lives.

Energy Follows Intention

What is intention? It is simply what you intend to happen. If your intention is followed with an action that supports your intention, you will experience quick results. You will also feel good and harmonious in the process. It is as if all energy flows in the same direction. For example, let's say that your intention is to work on your marriage by being more attentive to your partner. If your action is to start a productive conversation, give a foot rub, or make a phone call during the day, the desired outcome of improving your marriage has a high probability of occurring. If your intention is to improve your marriage, but you do extremely inconsiderate things to your partner, the energy of your action is in opposition to your intention. This opposite flow of energies will cause much friction, anxiety, and stress.

When both the intention and action flow in the same direction, positive outcome is enhanced. But when intention and action flow in opposite directions, negative outcome is more likely.

Conflicting energy signals will cause frustration, stress, and anxiety. Opposite directional forces between intention and action remind me of the opposite motions of the earth's plates at the San Andreas Fault line. As the plates move against each other, they create tremendous stress and, ultimately, result in an earthquake. Just as the spirits always tell me, "Learn from nature!"

Use this energy illustration as a mental cue for anything you are attempting to change in your life. Write down your intention, and then look at the actions you follow it with. Are they flowing together or in opposite directions? Many people give lip service to wanting to create change or healing in their lives, but their actions do not match their intention. They often become frustrated with the process of change, feeling like they have failed again when, in truth, their actions are not aligned with their intentions. Either the action needs to change or the intention needs to change. Each one can correct either variable.

Jan Engels-Smith promotes self-healing, empowerment, better communities, a healthy world and conducts workshops in shamanism & journeying.

Easy Rum Cake!

Hey!

I have got to share this Rum Cake recipe with you! It is sooooooooo easy (and tasty, too!)

~

1 package yellow cake mix

1 package instant vanilla pudding mix

1/2 cup rum

1/2 cup water

1/2 cup oil

1 cup chopped pecans

~

Steps:

1. grease and flour a bundt cake pan

2. preheat oven to 325 degrees F

3. mix wet ingredients in a bowl

4. add in cake mix and pudding mix

5. mix well

6. sprinkle about half the chopped pecans in the bundt pan

7. pour in half the batter

8. sprinkle the rest of the pecans

9. pour in rest of batter

10. bake 40-50 minutes until done

~

Now, if you are serving this to real live people, you can mix up a nice little glaze of melted butter, sugar and rum. If you are serving this up at a Cocktail Hour or as an offering of some sort, then you might want to do what I do and cut to the chase and just pour straight rum on the cake. (We all know who loves caked soaked with rum :-) )

~

This really is easy! If you give it a try, post a comment below and let me know how it went!
~
Light and Love

Sister Bridget

White Candle Magick

White Candle Magick

~

White candles have many uses - use them to heal (physical or emotional illness), for dispelling negativity, to gain spirituality, for protection, or to enhance any Magical Powers.

~

Basically, white is for healing - healing any hurt you or your target might have which makes them afraid to be in another relationship, healing any fear they have of being in a relationship, healing and removing the negativity inside them. A very thorough approach to healing with white candle magick is to use the “Mind Body Spirit” approach, in which each level is addressed with a candle of its own. This approach can take a little time to complete, but it is very very effective.

~

You can also use white candles for enhancing your own magical powers, for any spiritual work or for general protection. For protection for yourself or another, you might want to consider pairing the candle magick session with the Cosmic Voodoo Protection Gris Gris Bag or Protection Charms for an added boost!

~

A really underused but handy candle to keep on your shelf is a white seven knob candle. A Seven Knob candle is just that - a candle with carved “knobs” that is often used in Wish Magic. Each knob can be used for a separate or different wish! (or, if you want, you can use each knob for the same wish) BUT – using each knob for a different wish is what makes this candle so handy. As all you veteran spellcasters know, usually the petition for a candle is kept the same for the whole use of the candle… i.e one candle = one request/petition. With the seven knob candle, you get 7 different wishes if you want! So, no need to commit a full white female image candle to Aunt Sally who is having a bunion removed and you want to send her a just little healing energy; You can just use one knob on the white seven knob candle. Has you boss been a crab and you want to help lighten his mood a little – use one knob on the white seven knob candle. You get the picture. It’s a nifty candle to keep on hand!

~

White Image candles can be used in pairs as well. They are especially great at healing and releasing negativity in a relationship. If you are having tension or strain in a relationship with a friend or co-worker that you would like to help clear up magickally, take one image candle that would represent you and one white image candle of the appropriate sex that would represent your friend/co-worker. Use the candles as per the instructions, except have them facing each other. While doing the candle session, ask for healing and release of (fill in the blank for your situation) and replace the ickiness with (again, fill in the blank appropriately). I have even done this with THREE candles, when I was having difficulty with a pair of friends and it worked very very well for me.

~

Don’t forget, you can always add a few drops of Abre Camino Oil into the Annointing Oil that comes with the White Candle Magick kits when doing healing work!

~

Light and Love,

Sister Bridget