I have noticed
something recently among different women lately. And it is women in different spheres of my
life, so I thought good time to write about it.
(This is primarily for all my girls in relationships. If you are doing the spells, then you need to
be really careful about this because the “no conflict” rule still applies to
you!)
I am so sorry to be the one to tell you this, but the guy in
your life is not psychic. He doesn’t
effortlessly know what you want at all moments.
He might seem in tune with you sometimes, but he doesn’t know all your
emotional needs and desires. And he might not know how to fulfill them.
You have to tell him. And you have to tell him without being
mad that you have to tell him. You can’t
get mad at him because he doesn’t magically know where you want to go to
dinner, or that you wanted to go out on a date on Saturday afternoon, or that
you wanted the silver necklace, not the gold one. He is not psychic!
And for that matter, most people you have relationships with
are not either.
You have to tell people how to treat you. Your best friend, your sister, your employer,
your dog, everyone you are in a relationship with. You especially have to let a potential mate or
partner know how to treat you. You have
to communicate in a healthy and productive way.
A lot of people disguise themselves during the courting
process. You like this guy, a lot! You
want him to see the great parts of you.
You want him to know that you can pay your own bills, that you are
sophisticated, that you can tie a cherry in a knot with your tongue. We all want to put forth the best of us
because we really really like that person.
But then as time goes on in a relationship, you start getting to know
the real person. And you let that person know you. The you who wakes up with
morning breath, the you who secretly loves American Gladiator, or the you who
actually only owns 3 pairs of sexy Victoria’s
secret panties (the rest are cotton ones from Walmart!) And in this true getting-to-know-each-other
time you both do some settling in. You
get comfortable with one another, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want the
romance, and the fun you had during the beginning.
But the only way to keep liking each other while you get to
know one another, and after that is to communicate.
You need to communicate your short term and long term
needs. Relationships are work. Part of that work is healthy
communication. You need to first assess
what your needs and desires are in the relationship, and then you need to talk
about it.
If you want to go out to a movie with him on Saturday
afternoon then you need to tell him. It
is not hard or scary. Just say “Hey, I
really want to go on a date this weekend.
Can we go see a movie?” IF he
says no, then ask him when you can go on a date. Let him know you are feeling a little
neglected and you are craving his attention - but do so without being a whiny
brat. If you wait for him to ask you on
a date, and he doesn’t, and you storm out in a huff, then how the hell is he
supposed to feel?? What if he did that
to you? You would probably seriously
consider changing the locks while he was out and Black Mummy-ing his ass!
And it is ok to communicate about bigger things too. IF you want more from this person you need to
give them a chance to fulfill your needs. IF you are waiting for them to guess
your needs then you are both going to be seriously unhappy.
Thanks for reading
Berkeley